Don’t take it personally
Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. It may be a big deal to you, but the truth is that from their perspective, it probably doesn’t seem like a big deal. In fact, it’s best to assume the person who said no is like you: busy, occupied, distracted. They probably just didn’t have the bandwidth to even think about a new thing.
This is especially likely if the person you want a “yes” from is powerful or successful. Their days overflow with requests from lots of people.
So, their rejection might not be a hard no. It might be, “I don’t have time for this right now.”
Give them some space and respectfully try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works.
However, seven tries are too many. By that time, you can safely assume that they are giving you a hard no. But don’t treat your first no from someone the same as your seventh. Second tries have launched a lot of great projects, and one of my best friends today is someone who really didn’t like me the first time we met.
Almost everything in your life will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.
I have some time planned this summer to unplug. For example, I’m taking my kids to summer camp in the mountains, and before coming back to work my wife and I are going to spend the night there and just be there with no schedule. We may take a hike or get some mountain bikes and go for a ride (which is one of my favorite things to do). We will almost certainly sit and read our books in big, comfy chairs. And we are definitely going to sleep in.
As you start your summer, where could you take some time to unplug? You don’t have to travel to a new place. But I do recommend you consider three things:
Get more sleep. It’s surprising how much of our life is impacted by sleep. Take a nap. Sleep in. Do both!
Get out of the house and move around in the sunlight. Even if that’s just taking a walk around your block. We were designed to be in motion, and sunlight activates so many good things in our body and our brain.
Play a game—ideally with someone else. All creatures play, from puppies to octopuses. It’s in our DNA, too. And being constantly productive is bad for your engine. So, get a deck of cards and learn how to play Hearts (or my favorite card game, Spades). Play corn hole (bean bag tossing game) or even a board game (Pandemic is particularly brilliant for groups).
Unplug from your usual routine and do stuff you normally don’t make room for. You might be surprised at how much more alive you feel—and how much more you get done when you come back.
So, when is the next day you could do this? Seriously, stop reading this and check your calendar right now to see if you can find one day in the next two months. Every time I do this, it is always worth it.